it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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