I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
