youre lurking in front of me
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
