we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
