Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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