So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize