Moan for me like Helen Keller
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize