Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
