woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How many fucks given?
0.12846
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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