Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize