just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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