Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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