Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
