you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
