my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
