So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So. Much. Porn.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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