so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
