I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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