It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
