we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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