the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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