What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
