Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
