we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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