Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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