i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Let the clothes fall where they may.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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