i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
