party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
