Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
