I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
