You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize