I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
