He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize