Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
