Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
