One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
