wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
