How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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