Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
