I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
