im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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