rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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