Where is the hickey?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
