are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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