I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Oh god it's open bar.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
