how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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