i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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