so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
