I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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