it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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