i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
