well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
