i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
