ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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