i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
