even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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