my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
