Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And then my night got REAL pukey
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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