Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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