DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize