Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
