There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
