You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
