So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
