we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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