My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
