weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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