Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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