On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I cockslap morals
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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