At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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